IF Sink

Harriet is in quite a mess. In her excitement to enjoy the warm beautiful water she has jumped in totally forgetting she can't swim! I will continue the story... that the large fish at the bottom of the picture will rescue her and swim with her on his back safely to the shore. I think we all want a happy ending to the story and find distress when it looks like it isn't going to happen...I attended a Holiday program at my youngest Granddaughters school last Friday. I also attended the same school and I was excited to see what the program would be like. The teacher was really smart and ask all the kids to wear their PJ's. Well the brightest of styles and colors were seen. No need for Christmas costumes the outcome was delightful! Their 6 year old faces were all so different . Some were confident, some were frightened and some were just there taking in all of the parents looking at them. My Granddaughter knew all the words and gestures and of course was the best in the group...Really... she was.... one of her friends parents watched her as she said that she knew that she was doing it right. I fought back some tears a couple of times when I remembered being in that same cafeteria so long ago. And I wondered what the future would be like for all of these beautiful children.Where did the time go? It is true it does go fast...when you get to be my age it becomes so apparent that everyday does count. No dilly dolling around any more. My quest to do some things must be attempted NOW as no one knows how much time we have left. I don't say that in a sad way just a real way! I always knew that we had to make the most of it. ...back to the kids ...I wanted to draw these great kids and will soon. Color and fun I intend today to have more color in my life and a lot more fun... I hope you can do the same....I will think of those that are not having fun and need extra love and send it to them...you might try to do the same....byeeeeeeee

IF Round

She was so round, in fact everything around her was round.....I had fun with the suggestion for this week with the word ROUND....the woman you see here embraces her curves and makes no apology for them. She also emphasizes them by dancing with the round balls....I haven't had much time for IF lately as I was busy printing and designing a line of greeting cards made of allot of the paintings I made for IF. I have them in a store I see to and they also carry my paintings on canvas and this month have sold three of them. Iam delighted and thrilled at this and was lucky enough to find out that the new owner of one of them is newly widowed and starting out on a new life. My painting is a woman at the beach, red hair flying in the breeze with her apron full of wonderful sea shells. So her friend thought it would inspire and make her friend smile. That is just what I hope my art does, make the person looking at it smile. I also ran into a friend that had bought one of my paintings a few years ago of a still life in a pitcher with a mermaid on it. She told me she moves it around her house ,its pretty large, so she can enjoy it where ever she is working. It is now hanging happily in her work room. Many days have gone by when I wondered if I would ever make a difference in this world of Art. My question has been answered many times this month and I feel humbled and happy at this event. So onward with my paintbrush in hand and ideas in my head! This may be happening in a small way in my own backyard, but you know it feels really good and right now that is good enough for me.....I hope you are also enjoying knowing that your art makes a difference, even if it is in a small way...I think it is a start!

It's raining here in Sunny California!

I woke up to rain this morning and the feeling that winter just might be on it's way. I enjoy the changes of the seasons so this is good. My plants in the back yard really need some water and this will save me the task of watering, but I really enjoy the time outside. ...This Cat card was created by tearing construction paper in various shapes and drawing and cutting out the actual character. I really had fun tearing and cutting and gluing, reminding me I need to do just that more often. Things have been fairly quiet in my life. The natural changes of life continue and many deep breathes are taken in trying not to fight life but instead "go with the flow". Not to be a wisp of a person but knowing when and how to become involved. I remind my oldest Granddaughter to try to remember not everything she has to say should be said out loud to everyone. Some thoughts are best left to herself and not the general public. She knows its important to be heard but sometimes gets herself into trouble when talking back to her parents. Boy this life thing is backwards. I have always thought that we should be parents before we are children.... I know that won't happen and maybe be should listen to those who have gone before us...but that won't happen either....so I guess that leaves us with the learning experience of life.... and me wanting to cut and paste again...it has always worked and maybe a trip with this Cat of mine to Catalina...it's been years since I have been there and it is a lovely island ....who knows..........

IF Hibernate

I often feel like hibernating until I feel better about things or getting all of my obligations over. I have wished that the world would stop and only I could keep going and have the most productive day ever! This little bear is all decked out in his red flannel pj's and has his favorite toy to cuddle with as the winter passes. ..Today is dreary and rainy and I love it. We need more rain and it is promised for tomorrow. I enjoy staying home and listening to the rain on the roof. My cat hates the rain and wants to sit in my lap all day.... not possible.....but she almost insist and makes me a little crazy.....I think the Grand kids are in the groove of school...not happy but going without to much of a fit. ...Mother is still vague and confused but able to do the little things around the house that make her feel independent. She has always liked to be the underdog and to feel persecuted so in her forgetting she often places herself in places that make her feel this way. I feel sorry for her and will often correct her with the correct information so she won't feel unhappy. But to my dismay she then says, "well then I am a liar"....can live with them , can't live without them...so I try everyday to practice what I call Protection and Maintenance for her. Let her feel she is in control and knowing inside that she will feel however she will without my help. Love her and try to guide her but sometimes it seems feudal....I guess that is when I truly want to Hibernate!...So to the drawing board I go...sooooo glad I have this talent and hope to draw and create until I need someone to Maintain and Protect me! Have a good day, hug someone and remember to smile as if you know something that no one else does...its true isn't it?

Just waiting to see what the topic is for this weeks IF. I was inspired by a painting I saw in a magazine (I'm addicted to them) I liked , so I tried my hand at the style of the one I saw. I find it interesting and of course realized the water should be reworked with more balance in the fish department. But my Granddaughter loved it, so that is good. The day is beautiful and my wind chimes are blowing gently in the breeze. I can see the American flag blowing on the front deck and that makes me smile and feel warm and happy. Looking forward to making some bookmarks this weekend for a local club that makes care packages for breast cancer patients. Little things to help them through the experience of recovering. I have made them pink in the past but this time I'm going for bright colors with sass. Something the women will want many years after they are well. Talk to you soon and I will hopefully have an illustration for IF......good days with gentle breezes.....

She Wishes for Fishes!

When I read the prompt for Friday I thought for a while and searched my mind for something that was Mesmerizing to me. So many things came to mind I'm not sure how I ended up with the idea of patterns and fishes. I have always liked drawing fish and patterns fascinate me. I think they mesmerize me. I feel relaxed when painting them and figuring out pleasing patterns makes me happy. I used one of my favorite blue greens and used the complementary color,orange for her hair. Gotta love those colors. Working on so many things these past few weeks I haven't joined If for a few weeks. It feels good to take the time to create on the run so to say. ....I want to post a picture of my favorite flower I have on my deck but it is dark so I will try to remember tomorrow....Watching my Granddaughters can also be mesmerizing as they change and grow each and every day. It's funny I didn't seem to notice my own children growing as much. I think raising children is the hardest thing to do and while it is going on we take each day as it comes and almost become robots in the process. So much to do in so little time.... I was swept up in the everyday drama and the time passed sooooo fast...But now not being totally responsible for them I can enjoy their changing from a distance. It is a hard job to protect these little critters but a wonderful chance to give wonderful people to the universe....If we would all just treat others as we ourselves would want to be treated...what a great place the world would be...so next time you are not in such a good mood try to remember to be as nice as you can as the people around us are all in the same boat. Just wanting to be treated desently and with respect....it's funny how others react to a little kindness.....it can be mesmerizing........

IF Disguise

This little bear of mine is really sure that no one will recognize him in this disguise! In a way don't we all wear a disguise of some sort? I know that I disguise myself as an adult and I am really a child. I still want love and food and to be taken care of. But the reality of it all is that I have to take care of MYSELF....Not so bad...but sometimes it would be nice to be patted on the head and told "it will be all right". And know that this person knows what they are talking about. Sometimes a frantic feeling takes over and questions fill my head, what if, how and why will it all work out. But I guess in the long run it is what it is and I then look elsewhere for distractions and like a child go on to a new subject! I love this bears headdress. Wouldn't it be funny if we all walked around with headdresses on. Not hats just lovely whimsical head dresses. Might cause a problem on a bus on in a restaurant...funny idea....oh well ...not much to say, I send my healing thoughts to all affected by the Hurricane and I hope they get back to normal soon. I'm posting a picture of one of the planters outside of my city hall. I love the colors and the succulents.....I feel a painting coming on..........

IF Imperfect

This little girl has worked very hard to make her Mother this cake. She is sooo excited to present it to her. And I think from the look on her Mother's face the cake is a big hit! My Grandmother used to make the best white cakes with white icing and place it on a white milk glass plate. She knew it was my favorite so every birthday she would make me one. I'm sure my face looked much like the little girls in my picture. I have the stove my Grandparents bought in 1935. I use it everyday and think of them all the time. When my oldest Granddaughter was about 3 years old. I had her make a cake (white of course) and use my Grandmothers old bowls and bake it in my oven. It was delicious of course and if I can find the picture I took I will post it....I was going through old photos of my family this weekend. Both paternal and fraternal. I have always wondered if I would have been friends with my Grandparents if we had not been related but been the same age. I think I would have liked them and I hope they would have liked me too. ...Overcast skies today and a chance of clearing later...these skies depress my already depressed Mother....so pray for Sun....working on my greeting cards later and hope for some time outside as I like the grey skies for a change....have a good one and buy yourself a cupcake of your favorite cake...sit quietly and just enjoy!

IF Obsession

So obsessed you can't see straight! Have I ever been there? I don't think so. I sometimes feel my emotions run shallow as I watch people get soooo excited about some things in their lives. Celebrities, Coffee, Shoes, Television programs, the list continues. I remember being a little obsessed with my first real crush in high school. Walking home from school with my girl friends calling each other by the last name of our crushes. And writing my name as if I was his wife. That all sounds so silly now but then I was really hopeful that things would end up the way I was hoping. Not many of us girlfriends ended up with those crushes, we went on to others and made full and happy lives. I remember one of my friends used to boast that she was never going to clean toilets...My Mother used to laugh and say "Never say never". But the reality has been shown through the years and by gum, ( as they used to say) she hasn't had to clean many a toilet. Her high school crush became her husband and she has had help cleaning for most of her life. I now wish I would have made more outlandish statements....I will never want for money.... I will never be fat....I will never miss a love in my life.....statements about things I might like in might life right now. ...I'm not complaining,but money brings options, being at the right weight limits the things that are not uncomfortable doing, and having a male companion is always fun....still without those things in my life I am happy. I look into myself all the time and manage to keep myself busy and interested in most everything....I think being an artist is what gets me through the times that are not so good! ....I attended an Art Walk this Saturday. And as a participant I was ask to demonstrate my work. I don't really paint on demand so, I cut out some of my greeting cards I make and I gave them out to people brave enough to find out about what I was doing. I met a little 9 year old girl. She was so cute and excitedly told me that she was an artist too. I encouraged her to keep on working and every day she would get better. I gave her a couple of my prints and when I saw her later she was telling me how she was looking for all the fun things I had put into my Halloween print. Smiling ear to ear she left waving at me. I knew then that my art had done just what I had hoped....Make just one person SMILE.....so after all maybe I am Obsessed, obsessed with my art and the ability to reach a person on a personal level and to help them feel better!....If that is the case I am Obsessed!

IF Gesture

Bear is sooo happy to be able to assist bunny in his berry picking. They have plans to have a picnic in the woods later on in the day. I used this little bear again in my illo as I hope to have a lot of paintings to gather together and make a book out of. Sorry I didn't think of it sooner I would be finished by now. Summer is in full swing here in Manhattan Beach. My Daughter in law has some of her family from Brazil visiting for a time. It is funny how even if we don't speak the same verbal language we still can understand each other. Im always interested in what goes on in other countries and what they do everyday and what wonderful foods they have. We picked up the recipe for the Brazilian cheese balls that we love. One of my Nieces is living in Brazil for the summer so my Sister wanted to make them when she gets home. Funny I like the dough almost better than the finished product. I know the raw eggs aren't good for you,but I can't help myself. I come from a long line of batter and dough family. My Grandmother liked to tell the story of when she first got married at 16years old, one of the first things she did was to bake a cake. She ate most of the batter as her Mother forbid her from doing so when she was at home. So when she was on her own and she could do just that and jumped at the chance. She always made the best pies, and of course the pie dough was even better. Bread dough gotta love the yeast flavor of it...oh no!!!! TMI (to much information.)...sorry you don't need to know how silly I can be...or do you? ...Well time is a flying by today and I haven't gotten much done so here's wishing you a wonderful day....maybe I'll make a cake...or a pie....tee hee...yum, yum!

IF Stay

In this picture the woman has decided that she no longer could stay in the dark woods. She take hold of the colorful flower that promises her light! So many of us are or have been in situations that we need to make a change. If you are like me I always need a nudge to help me to make the change needed. I am usually happy once I find the courage to do what I need to do. But coming to that decision is really hard for me. I'm lucky enough that life has guided me along and presented me with choices along the way. I admit to not always making the right ones but I have always taken responsibility for my choices. It is hard to always listen to the little voice in my head but once I know it is best I charge ahead. Life is so interesting and sometimes is comes full circle when we don't even know it. My Daughter in Law took a job designing costumes for the Oprah company in L.A.. She has worked hard and has done a beautiful job. The Oprah took place at the Santa Monica Woman's club. I laughed when I heard this. When I was 6 or 7 years old my Grandmother was a book keeper for the club and I often went to work with her. It has a stage with a balcony and I remembered playing in this room and exploring the club while my Grandmother worked. Who would have thought my Son and his Wife would be attending a function there more or less being in the room I explored as a child. My kids went to the same school as I and their Father attended. We have walked over each others steps many times. I hope they walk over my good steps and have a wonderful life. I wish for all of you the innate wisdom to know when it is best not to stay and do so with the knowledge they are doing the right thing.... beautiful day...sun is out...slight wind...listing to the water bubbling in my little pond and just being thankful for the moment. I have a plant I call a Wax plant. It has big waxy leaves and bunches of pink flowers that look like wax. My parents had one when I was small and I saved two from a garage sale. They are happy and blooming now. I enjoy these flowers sooooo much. Just thought I share that with you...!

IF Remedy

This Grandma has all the help she needs to make her little Grandson feel better in this book. Baking soda paste applied to the bite making sure the stinger is out is what I remember my Grandmother and Mother used to do for me. My Great Grandmother, that I never had the privilege to meet, was a woman of many talents. She was very superstitious and had a saying for many things, including throwing salt over her shoulder when it was spilt. She attended to the dearly departed by doing their hair and attended many a seance. She loved to cook and used to tease my Mother by saying she was making A"Wind Pudding". For which my Mother sat waiting for many a day. She worked at cleaning the largest house in her town, which an heir to the Coke company lived. She did almost anything to help with the money issues in the home. I have always felt it is a shame that sometimes we are not fortunate to know our relatives when they were young. My Mothers family came from Indiana in the early 1900's to find a better life. I think they succeed in doing just that. Never really finding treasure of worldly goods but the treasure of finding love and closeness of their family. Much like the Movie Roots the stories must continue in order for us to be able to find a sense of who we are. I know she was honest, hardworking and full of love and happiness. I think that is pretty good for a legacy, I hope my Grand kids will speak of good things after I am on another journey. I try hard and I think they know this and I hope I only get better with time. Time.... a funny thing, we tend to waste it and take it for granite, we can't change it or stop it. And many try to cheat it by looking as young as they can. But reality always sets in we are what we are. I think facing it with dignity and a sense of what it is may be the way I will handle it. Stay tuned....it may change....one never knows.....By the way I bought a new printer as my old one stopped working. I tried to download my thumbnail of the IF topic this week and the site says it won't take it for various reasons. I will try to fix this problem but if you took a peek , I thank you......have a great 4Th of July!

IF Midsummer Night

If you took a chance and peeked at this site without the thumbnail. Please excuse me. I bought a new printer and the thumbnail wouldn't take. I tried another thumbnail I had posted before and IT didn't work. This is sooooo frustrating as I just got all this down.....grumble, grumble..................ANYWAY........Amanda is feeling so relaxed on this Midsummer Night that she has decided to take a little nap. The weather is warm and the night seems magical with the night moths flying about. Talking about Moths, we once had a cat that used to catch the moths at night and bring them into the house to eat. We would hear loud crunching and new instantly what was happening. I would have loved to let me go, but by the time they arrived in the house they were already on the way to Moth heaven. Cats are really smart but you have to overlook they're eating habits. My Cat Sadie loves to catch mice and chase them about in the bathtub. If I know what is going on I always catch and release but sometimes I'm to late. She leaves the organs and sometimes the tails. Not nice to look at! I try to make sure she has plenty to eat but I think Cats will be Cats. I don't think I have any meaning to look for today, my knee hurts and I think my sense of humor is missing. Oh well see you next week.....

IF Launch

This sailor while walking the plank, was surprised to meet the "Face that Launched a Thousand Ships"! (at least the face that launched this ship) She was staring out ahead as if looking for her long lost Sailor. I think the damsel in distress on board the ship can't figure out just what her boyfriend is looking at....Much like in true life, we are always trying to know what the other is thinking. After years of doing just that I know now that what they are thinking is none of my business. I can't remember who said that but I believe it to be true. Quite a few years ago I was visiting the Grand Canyon in Arizona. My friend and I had gone from L.A. to Arizona on a Harley Motorcycle. He was looking around for a new place to live and I went along for the ride. We had fun and were walking along the edge of the canyon. I was taken by the beauty and how wonderful the trip had been. I looked at my friend and asked him "What are you thinking?", knowing I was feeling warm and fuzzy and full of wonder. He snapped back at me and replied. " I was thinking of how hard it is to get along with you". You might as well as pushed me off the cliff as I thought everything was going along swimmingly. We didn't speak all the way back to Flagstaff. He then opened up that he was unhappy with himself as he didn't want to live anywhere new we had been. And was hoping I would love one of the places so he could then love it too. That was the last time I ever ask that burning question again. At least to a man friend. I know that Men and Women don't think alike. And wanting to know all their thoughts is a BIG mistake. I now just smile when faced with wanting to ask THE THINKING question. After all it is just important what I think of myself. And my thoughts about many things sometimes don't need to be expressed. As do others want to share their ideas and thoughts with you. I know communication is important in a relationship but not always. So next time you feel all warm and fuzzy and look into your significant others eyes and want to ask What are you Thinking?...stop and think...do you really want to know the answer....it might be more than you want to hear....do you want to take the chance of finding out just what he Does think......It is Fathers Day...my wonderful Daddy passed away in 1978 at the age of 60. He had so much more to give and see, but I remember one day he mentioned that he thought he had lived in a wonderful time, he had seen, electricity, computers, Men on the Moon,and transportation of all kinds to name a few. He had seen a lot and done many of the things he aspired to do. But best of all he was a Man of Character. He meant what he said and was ALWAYS there for me and my family. He was funny, and laughing was an everyday event. His hugs were real and his smile lite up the room. Jim Wakeland you are truly missed! But thank you for the legacy you left me and my Sister. I try everyday to live a life you would be proud of...I know you are watching!

IF Swept

My little brown bear loves to sweep and is doing a really good job of it. I can see that he doesn't get around to cleaning very often by the amount of interesting things floating in the air. He is a bear after my own heart. I think a clean house is a boring house. Sometimes when things fall on the floor I leave them where they fall as I know where they are and will remember if I need them. I seem to have good intentions, I know the road to Hell is paved with those same good intentions, but I do plan on doing the cleaning each and every day. I get started working on a picture and I know all of you fellow artist understand how it is to much fun to stop and gee "things can wait until tomorrow" thus bringing my intentions full circle. School is almost finished and none to soon. The Grand kids are more than ready to claim their time as their own. I know we will be hearing the famous words "I'm board" the first week. But the ability to sleep in for them will be the best part of the summer. Nothing to large planned, just relax and enjoy the weather. ...we will pray for some warm days and blue sky's and some good times with friends and family....my back yard looks like a small forest, just the way I like it and I plan on spending some time back there. My Cat Sadie loves to hunt lizards and seems to find many different sizes and types always bringing them in to show me. I catch them and let them go as she loudly complains...maybe if I sit with her in the yard she will just hunt them.....catch and release without my help...I think that is wishful thinking....better go for now....hope all is going well and may you have many wonderful memories this Summer! I know you will try!

IF Shadows

This little bear is amazed how his familiar woods now look a bit scary at night in the shadows. It is funny or should I say peculiar how that can happen. Some place that we know quite well can look different in the night. My back yard is a good example. We have two giant pine trees that were a few years ago 4 feet high Christmas trees. When the wind is blowing and it is very dark I don't think I would like to spend a lot of time out there alone. I know that it is quite safe but the sounds that radiate from that space are spooky. We have Raccoons and Opossums and a few other small animals that live and visit on a regular basis. And some times I wonder if other creatures are lurking about. Nothing to large as to threaten me but I guess you never know, after all in the horror films that is where horrible things happen.....Just kidding about that last thing but isn't that what we are all afraid of? The unknown! If we all knew (FOR SURE) just what happens after death we might not be afraid of it. So then when a awful illness happened we wouldn't be unhappy but look at it as the key to something better. I wonder if we would live any different....I was next door to my Grandparents home this weekend. This wonderful little house is not in the family anymore and I find myself wanting to enter it. I know subconsciously I am hoping my Grandparents might be inside waiting to love me. I know better but the desire to feel them and their love is appealing. There are no shadows in that house.....I think as we get older the shadows seem to be less and the light more. Oh yea, that is what that means, I say a lot...and if you do this it might help....The path is different the goals are changing. I'm not sure just what they are but I still work with the same enthusiasm but with a bit more confidence, on a good day....I wish for your week...no shadows..only light and moments of pure clarity. Clarity that you are on the right path.....the path you have chosen...good luck and remember only you are the one looking back at you in the mirror at night. Try to make that person smile as much as you can with your efforts......byeeeee

IF Asleep

My Great Neice Rosie told her Mother she was going to be asleep in the closet. I was sent a picture that I took this illustration from. Rosalie is too cute and has given me many ideas to work from with her cute little face...She is the baby in the family right now and reminds me of how cute the kids are at this age, she's two. She is the first Grandchild on both sides of her family as I was and what a great place to be. I couldn't have gotten more love if I had tried and have fond memories of all of my Grandparents. The foods I ate, the beds I slept in, and the warm and fuzzy feeling I always had. My Grandparents, even after more children arrived, always made me feel as if I was the most important one and of course I wanted to believe it. I try with my Grandchildren to do the same. It is a bit different as we all live together. We have our own spaces but when they spend the night with me its right next door. I tend to be a little critical of them when they misbehave as I see it. But I really do try to step back and be the fun part of their lives. They are growing so fast and before I know it they will not want to bother with me or their parents. So I will keep a blind eye to their bad deeds(who am I kidding?) and feed them ice cream and cookies and other things their parents don't want them to have. Life is funny and a bit of a tight wire act. We are always looking for balance ...lets hope I can find it....and lets hope Rosie keeps doing cute things I can draw about!

IF Soaked

This little Elephant loves to take hot bubble baths. He gets all the tub toys he can find and anything else he thinks he might need and heads for a long soak. I also like to take a long bath and relax for a while. I don't take the time much anymore to do this and maybe this posting will prompt me to take up the habit again. I don't think we are always as nice to ourselves as we are to others.....I have a nasty headache I can't shake to day so I will write more tomorrow when I feel better I just wanted to get this posted....see you tomorrow... It is now tomorrow...and I feel better. I went to bed and slept whatever it was off. Not quite ready to jump and dance but better is good I will take it. I will be making a plush dog today as I am going to sign with a rep that does the Teddy Bear Shows and works her bottom off to do good for her clients. It has been difficult getting back into the three dimensional projects as I really do love illustrating. But until I get a book published or find some work in that field gotta pay the bills. Gathering the materials for my creations is fun and inspires me onward. ...Well I better go for now but before I say goodbye I want to wish the people the best that are devastated by the Tornadoes in the mid west. I will be thinking about you and wishing I could give you all hugs! As I can't even wrap my mind around what it is like to loose so much of their lives...

IF Safari

This little traveler has decided to make as many friends as she can on her Safari into the jungle. And these little monkeys are delighted to see her and her offerings. She seems unafraid as she approaches these wild animals and they seem unafraid of the HUMAN that is looking at them. Perhaps it is the smile on her face. The calmness she has as she only wants good for the monkeys. I think that sometimes a smile will break down barriers that we humans have put up for one reason or another. I find laughter will also work but I know that some of us are so deeply sadden by life and its ups and downs that nothing at that moment will help! So I keep trying as the pay off for me is the smile on the un expecting victims face. We all just want to be happy and loved and sometimes that in itself is hard to make happen. Today it is rainy and dark. Little patches of blue sky are peeking out at me and the sky is soooo beautiful. I enjoy the different days and try to always find something good in them. The other day I was driving along the road closest to the beach. I looked up and there was three separate groups of Pelicans flying very low in formation along the road. They were soaring and gliding their way South. I was so fascinated I stopped to enjoy the show. My Son had seen the same spectacular site himself last week and we shared in our delight. What wonderful things nature has for us to experience. I hope I never loose the excitement in seeing it. So if you can get out of your own way today try to find something wonderful for you to take in, it might be in your own backyard! Check it out!

IF Beginner

Happy Mother's day to all that might be reading this on Sunday! I had a lovely day with my family just hanging out and eating tacos and other good food. My illo for this weeks topic "beginner" shows a truly beginning eater. I remember the days of Cheerios and milk. It seemed like the tiny round circles ended up everywhere except their mouths. At least the Cheerios were easy to clean up, unlike the baby foods we gave them first. Sometimes it seems like yesterday that my kids were babies (they are now 41 and 45 years old). And other times they seem like they have been my friends as adults for years. Time is passing so fast and we all have our own interest it is getting harder to find the time to spend quality time together. My Granddaughter helped me cook lunch and the others cleaned up and put the leftovers away. I have some beautiful roses to watch grow and the memory of the day. My poor Mother is becoming a shell of her former self. How sad it is to watch her slowly fade away. I wonder what my Father would have been like if he had the chance to grow old as he was taken at the age of 60. Would he be active, all together mentally, oh well we will never know these answers. But life doesn't seem to be getting easier as I get older. It has given me some in sites to the human condition and it has shattered some of my old illusions that I held dear. But tomorrow is another day with more lessons to learn, more hurdles to jump and thank God I have been given the chance to grow every day I am here. I hope your week is good and that you use your time to the fullest and at night when we all look in the mirror, we say "I have done my very best today". After all that is all we CAN do isn't it, don't we owe it to the others that haven't been given the chance.....go hug someone.....

IF Lesson

This strong man and sweet elephant are about to learn a lesson in the fine art of balance with the addition to their act of that tiny butterfly! It is funny how delicate balance can be. Whether it be trying to balance work and family, or friend relationships. I always say that we all do a dance. And what the outcome is depends on who will join our different dances. For example when we find ourselves in a bad mood, who joins us sometimes makes the mood change. If we refuse to join the bad mood dance and choose to change the dance the bad mood person seldom will dance alone. I don't know if we choose to be in a bad mood or if the many ingredients of our lives set the tone. Again comes balance, did we eat and what did we eat, did we get enough sleep. There are so many reasons that a person might feel crabby. I try to fight bad moods and encourage others to SNAP OUT OF IT! But sometimes we have the weight of the world on our backs and as I say "have fallen down the rabbit hole". In my drawing the lesson that anything even something as lovely as a butterfly can change the balance of the day. So we must be aware of the lessons as we trudge along in this silly life. My friend once said "what does it matter, we will all be gone in a hundred years"? Well it matters to me now. I want to live in the moment balancing my players and dancers. I want to help my Granddaughters learn the right lessons from what happens in their lives. How to handle disappointment and even happiness when others around them might not be as happy. How complicated it all is....I know I woke up in a good mood today. I hope I can learn my first lesson of the day patience with my Mother. I will remember how hard it is for her, to be so confused and unaware. Life for her is getting smaller everyday. I will try to balance her life with mine....and if that tiny butterfly lands on us, may it be welcomed with open arms knowing that it will teach us just another lesson in life..........get out there and look out for the butterflies.....

IF Bicycle

When I was drawing this it reminded me of the wonderful feeling that I had riding my bike on the way home from a day of cutting and pasting at my girlfriends house up the street. Her Mother was one of the only Mothers that truly was happy to let us do arts and crafts at the big table in the kitchen. We would paint and draw to our hearts content and then the day became perfect with the bike ride down the hill. I still can feel the wind in my hair and the way I didn't have to stop until I hit my driveway. Her Mother still lives up the street and at 88 is just starting to show her age. I drive, only in my car now, that same route quite often. Many houses have come and gone on the streets along the drive but I still can find a few hold outs that remain standing strong among the new hotel like houses in the neighborhood. I have always to follow in my girlfriends Mother's path and welcome art projects on my large farm table in my kitchen. Paint comes up easy and doesn't hurt the wood. In fact it seems to add to the charm of it...... I hope you all had a pleasant Easter. We ate good food and hit brightly colored Easter eggs and laughed at the kids as they hunted them down. My youngest Granddaughter especially loved the adventure. My Son held her high in the air to reach the eggs hidden in the tree much to her delight. She loved hiding the eggs from her Sister and Cousin and Aunties. And much to my surprise we found all the eggs after we hid them. We usually always have one or two that we can't find and magically appear months later a little worst for wear. We I was small my dog would bury the eggs he found after the hunt and then dig them up later for a real taste treat......ugg....My Mother turned 92 on Saturday so we celebrated her Birthday yesterday too. She has lost her short term memory and gets so offended when we mention anything she had done that needs to be noticed. What a game we play everyday trying not to hurt her feelings and keep her safe, but it is necessary for her well being. Oh well she forgets she was unhappy soon anyway......tee hee....have a great week and I hope the weather gets warm and sunny for all of us soon........

IF Journey

I like to think that everyday when we slide out of bed that we are beginning a new journey! We sometimes have an idea of what we will encounter as we continue on. But then we really don't know what will unfold through out the day.Our house seems to have a revolving door in it. And that is the way I like it. You never know who will come over and what they have on their minds. We live in a city that has grown very sophisticated. There is more money here than our sleepy little town could have ever imagined being. Some of the new people are a bit plastic and seem to have cell phones stuck to their ears. I just want to scream at them when I see them going through the check stand at the market or doing bank transactions without ever making conversation to the checkers or tellers. They have missed the chance to make contact with another human being. I feel they don't want to bother or that they are just too important to deal with such trivial issues. Aside from the snotty ones you can find the Manhattan Beach Natives. Down to earth and just plain happy to be lucky enough to be living in a wonderful beach town. We have been here for years and never forget to be in awe of our surroundings. Many of the parents of the children that my Granddaughters go to school with are surprised to find us when they first come over. I always tell them there are lots of we old timers in town you just have to look for them. So when friends drop over I always learn something new from our conversations. As I said before I feel I learn something new everyday weather it be about myself or others I find that exciting. So I guess to tie this to the IF topic Journey is that my family sharing their journey is something to be thankful for. As each and every person, even if they are irritating also bring something to the table. I find listening more valuable that I did before and try to do that first before I express and idea or opinion.....Oh it is time for me to continue on my life journey..have to run to the market and of course the 99cent store.....good luck on your life's journey and don't forget to listen and take note of what has happened today....it is part of the plan......

IF Bottled

WOW, I finally got my computer fixed and I figured out how to shrink the picture to make it a thumbnail. My friend was nice enough to fix my computer that had been attacked by a virus, yes, I have virus protection. But in the operation some new parts we installed. "Paint" was one of them and I just couldn't figure out how to shrink my drawings. I'm still playing with the larger ones but I figured out how to make the thumbnail for IF. Iam soooo grateful my friend Paul took the time to help me with this machine I have become so dependent on. I don't really like the idea of having the computer being so important but....what else can I do but join in on the fun....So Iam back up and running with a few bugs to work out... I get confused dpi...K....Mb....pix...I have to much in my tiny brain already. ....had a nice weekend changed some furniture around again, as I live in an open loft it is easy to create spaces. Never enough room but it is fun anyway....found out an old friend is really sick and waiting some test to find out just what is wrong. Boy I have always thought car mechanics and Doctors are about the same. Both are never really sure what is wrong with their clients and do what they can to make them work the best they can.....Mike, I wish you an excellent Dr. and Mechanic....and send you love and strength...Not fun getting older but it seems to be the only game in town. I still learn something new everyday about life and especially about myself. I am a complicated human with many faults but my bottom line is always to make others feel better for coming into contact with me. That doesn't always happen and I have definitely found I can't win a hate or unhappiness challenge. I won't try to win at that game and others seem to have their ability to hate and be unhappy in their blood. Or after years of those traits being used they have perfected that ability....Well I need to keep on moving and try to get my home back in order. I will show some pictures soon, its fun I have collected a lot of STUFF and have decided to put some of it out so I can enjoy it all the time....Have a great day it is beautiful here I hope it is where you are too!

IF Duet

These twins love to dance and play their horns. They love confusing their friends because they look just a like. But do they really look just a like? I have twin girl friends that I met in Kindergarten. They are identical but I never had any trouble telling them apart. They don't live in my city anymore but we do try to touch base when ever we can....I love having friends for such along time. We have no BS and share many memories that others can imagine. But it is also exciting creating new friends and making new memories. My Mother still can remember some of her older memories but her short term memory is gone. I sorta have my own thing I do, after my Mom repeats something 3 times I excuse myself and leave. Changing the subject never seems to help so removing myself seems to work and gets her on to something else. I ask one of my friends the other day, what is so bad about listening to something more than once? When we are teaching a child repetition is what it is all about. Is is the fact that the adult should no better? Why not the patience we have for the child not be the same for the parent. I'm still questioning this and other things when I find myself short of temper. I pray for guidance and patience and for most of all my sense of humor to stay in tact! Any suggestions are gladly read and thought about. I know know one ever said life was easy. I'm delighted and feel blessed that my Mother has been able to reach 92 years of age. I just sometimes have to remind my self and step outside of my own needs and be happy to aid and protect! On ward and upward....I always say?

IF Toy

Red Riding Hood likes her LITTLE wolf toy. This is just the right size for her. I seem to be obsessed with Little Red Riding Hood lately. I guess the color red makes me happy. I don't have much pure red in my home but touches of shades of red are all around.... I heard today a young man that I knew had passed away. He died peacefully in his sleep and the night before he passed he shared with his Sister how happy he was. He isn't the first one to go lately that had stated just how Life was really good for them. We joked and said we would try to remember not to say if we were really really happy. I'm not really really happy as I believe there is so much more that I can do. I would love to see my Grandchildren grow up and know more of the story and how it turns out. I am pleased for my friend as he had a tough time with a mental illness. So to know he felt so good pleases me. I know we never know what lies ahead and I truly try to take it one day at a time. I try to remember just how short life is and to tell those I love that I do love them. I try to remember to really feel the Sun on my face and the wind in my hair. And to capture and save the smiles on my Families faces. Life can be wonderful and can be sucky too. I think we all just put one foot in front of the other and try not to trip and fall. I know I do just that and when I fall I get up and as the song says dust myself off and start all over again.......

IF Cultivate

Sorry to have missed last weeks topic but I had a horrible cold and my computer caught a virus too. No matter what I do I seem to find myself online in the wrong place and a nasty virus disables me for a while. My Son is so good and fixes it asap but I always feel guilty for catching it. I don't know how I do it. We have virus detectors and no forbidden sites were viewed, nothing fancy but I forget to look at the sites names and my Son says that is a dead giveaway for something that isn't right. I was looking for my old ballet teacher from when I was a child and some of the places that came up were confusing. But I won't go there again!...... Went to the Doctors yesterday as the cold that kept on giving just wouldn't go away. I feel better already and was just plain old tired of being sick. Thankfully it is minor compared to what many people go through on a daily basis.....especially those in Japan....I can not even grasp what they are going through and what they have if anything to look ahead to. I'm not sure we are being told the truth about the power plants and the impact it is having on the environment....somethings are just to frighting to even think about.......back to the IF topic Cultivate. I chose this painting of this little gardener happy and proud of what she has cultivated. We have some bulbs that are tiny yellow freesias. My Grandfather gave them to me 40 years ago. Each year in spite of being poked and mowed they come up around this time. What a sweet smell and how it brings back the wonderful memories of my beloved Grandfather. It is amazing how the sense of smell can bring back things. I talked to my Sister and she had one flower come up in her backyard. She ran around sharing it with her family and finally realized that Mother and I were probably the only ones that would truly appreciate the miracle it was. And she was right...we giggled and remembered together...I hope the people in Japan will soon be on the road to getting some kind of normalcy in their lives. But I wonder if they ever will, sometimes you just can't rebound !.......I am thinking of them and sending healing thoughts across the sea..........

IF Warning

This motley trio is trying to decide whether to heed the warning on the gate sign! Should we stay or should we go? That is what they need to know. If it wasn't so dark they could clearly see the danger that lies ahead behind the gate. Just like in real life it might be easier to know what lies behind every decision we make and to clearly see the outcome of that choice. That might save us from things going wrong, but in the long run I think the way we react to unpleasant things shows what we are made of. I try not to beat myself when I believe the choice I have made might have been made with more thought. And at night when I go to bed and look in the mirror I know that I have done the best that I could have. I try always to be kind and to try not to hurt anyone. But sometimes, or should I say most of the times we can't all get what we want. And facing the word NO really shows how we deal with life. So should the trio stay or go into the unknown?......I tend to be on the conservative side so I would vote for safe. And look for adventure somewhere else.......Had a good week and I had forgotten how beautiful Laguna Beach Ca. truly is. The view from my friends house is breathtaking. They are high on the hill and the coast below is sooooooo great. Had a wonderful lunch discussing our lives and what lies in the future for us. We are optimistic and full of hope for a better world even when it seems to be falling apart all around us. We vote for keeping our immediate surroundings as pleasant as possible and trying to make life better for those around us and those that need some help. Back to making someone feel happier and good for a while is a good feeling. So maybe I should vote for going behind the gate...unto the unknown...after all isn't that what we do everyday that we are lucky enough to wake up? We don't really know what the day will bring as my Grandmother used to say sometime it is all we can to but to "Scratch our Ass and feel glad"! Please excuse my language but without the word it looses in the translation.....have a great weekend and hang in there it is the only game in town make the most of it.....and maybe carefully check behind the gate!!!!

Swarm

Every year at this time the Queen Bee waves her white handkerchief and starts the annual Swarming.This has been kept a secret until now and I feel this is a good time to tell the story. Queen Bees everywhere are doing the same and the drones swarm to the nearest garden and gather pollen for their Queen. I think it would be fun for a while to be that Queen! Much like when we were children our parents gathered what we needed to survive and happily gave it to us. Guess I'm just getting lazy in my old age and a bit tired of gathering my own goodies that I need to survive. I'm proud of being able to take care of myself in some way. Not in the manner in which I would like to be come accustom to, but doing it in some way. I saw a saying one time that said "I'm tired of looking for the meaning of life, all I want now is a cookie". I agree bring on the cookies, cakes and candies....tee hee....A bit cold here but sunny and that makes my Mother in a good mood. The cats are cuddly and I think miss their solar power they get from the Sun.....My friend is coming down tomorrow and a good time will be had. Sharing our feelings, trying to make sense out of getting older and only a few complaints about how it is harder to get around with the aches and pains of life. It is nice to have a cohort in crime and when our children are tired of listening we can share with each other. A trip to Laguna on Thursday to visit a friend. Life can't get much better. Hope you have a pleasant week ahead of you and if you are still and look very hard to might just see the Queen waving the bees on!

Layer

It was cold last night and I wished I had a few more cats to keep me warm. I just like this little girl have several blankets on my bed and most of the time my beautiful cat Sadie joins me. I survive much better when the weather is warm. I know 47 degrees is not cold for many of you, but for me it IS COLD. The sun is out today and I feel it is warming a bit, none to soon for me. The kids are out of time for the week and the compound as we call it is quiet. It always seems funny to have the lack of children around and not to hear the daily comings and goings of many people. I think I will paint something , do some paperwork and just be. Always to the market as my Mother is not able to make a meal needs something for dinner. I have a cold so as unusual as it is for me I'm not hungry. I like to make a meal that will last for a few days so lunches and a dinners are taken care of. So I will put on my thinking cap and try to come up with something to cook. I will be working on Wednesday and Thursday at the art gallery so lunch for those days is needed. The month that I will have my paintings in the gallery is almost over. I haven't sold any paintings but I think this experience has showed me that my heart lies in illustrating. When I work on canvas it takes way too long. And I enjoy the smaller size of most of my artwork. Exhibiting my work as been a good experience and I have met many interesting artist and seen some fabulous work. We are all so different with one thing in common the need to express ourselves through art. I enjoy when someone smiles when they see my work and tell me it makes me happy. That is a small thing but like your health it helps make the world seem a little better. So I will keep trying to make someone smile....I can be really funny......so can the world...sometimes to just have to look very carefully and have a margarita in hand!

Sweater

I agree a sweater is for when a Mother gets cold. I remember my Mother always questioning my body temperature when I left the house. She used to bundle me up and made sure I had shoes on so I wouldn't get sick. I seemed to get just as sick as anyone else in fact the kids next door never wore shoes and sweaters and never seemed to be under the weather. I now seem to stay warm most of the time and don't need something to keep me warm. It doesn't get very cold her so I don't know how I would feel if I lived where it snowed and the weather was ugly.On another subject I want to wish you all a Happy Valentines day! I was attending a party at the gallery I have my paintings at and was surprised with a red rose from a nice Man that I had met earlier. Of course he was giving out roses to many Women but it was appreciated any way and made me feel special. He reminded me of a dear friend I had that always had the ability to make me feel special and attractive whether I felt that way myself. I hadn't seen my friend for some time when we saw each other at a local club. I didn't recognize him and he came up to me and told me who he was and looked at me as if I was nuts for not knowing him. I felt bad but I wasn't expecting him to be out as he was married and his wife was not with him. He wasn't hitting on me or being disrespectful to his marriage he just wanted to dance and in turn made me feel happy to see him. He was a police officer and had worked with my ex husband undercover and they as all officers that depend on each other for their own safety had become fast friends. I was glad I had that night with him dancing and catching up on our lives as he was killed with another officer shortly there after during a robbery gone bad. It was on Valentines Day about 10 years ago. Talk about living for the moment, we saw him one more time as he attended my Daughters wedding. He is missed and I sometimes miss the camaraderie the police department had. We were all pretty tight and all of the wives had the underlining fear that we might not see our husbands again when they left for work. Good times but hard at the same time. I always smile and wave at the officers in my city when I see them. Sometimes I hope they don't wonder why I do so or wonder what I am up too. Oh well I can't pass up the chance to say THANK YOU for all the hard work they do. So all this was off the subject of sweater but is it really? A sweater is made to protect us and so are the police. So maybe next time to see a officer of the law be sure to smile and if you have the chance to say thank you do so. You never know what lies ahead......

Reverse

I sometimes seem to go in reverse so I understand how Sam the fish feels. I have been working at an Art Gallery I have joined and I'm not used to working out of the home. I feel really spoiled but that is how my career has been. I enjoy myself once I get there and use the down time to work so I'm just being a baby...I know boo hoo. The gallery is new so it is not very busy. It is in a shopping center that has a lot of restaurants so they are busy. Once in a while the people stumble in and seem to be glad that they have. I'm not sure I would want to do this forever maybe if I was getting paid I would love it. You know Money really does count.... as much as it seems to be the root of all evil.... I would love to be evil as I could...tee hee.....getting tired so will write later...I will try not to be in reverse tomorrow......

Surrender to Love?

This little girl has jumped on the wings of love and is flying off to the unknown. Love is unknown. I have been in love many times and continue to fall in love everyday! It is not the couples love but the love of moments, things and animals and children. The love I felt and still feel for my Granddaughters is unlike any other. They are MY children once removed but in my soul they are as much mine as they are their parents. I would die for them and everyday try to make their life better in anyway I can. Love for things is so different not permanent and on a different level. I love the instant feeling some of my collectibles give me. They open a door of imagination about where they came from and if they could talk what they could say. They are pretty but sometimes I tire of them and hide them away for a while. The love for my animals is hard to describe to someone if they don't feel the same about the little critters as I do. My animals ask just for the basics, never question me and always want to please me, well as much as cats can do what you want them to. I have had many cats in my life and at one time had 6. Only 2 were ask to live with us and the rest just moved in for various reasons. They are so loving and special it would be hard for me to imagine my life without a cat in it. So many loves, all different and all still changing as I get older. I think I feel love a bit more deeply as my time on this planet shortens. I strive to enjoy all loves as intensely as I can. I like to think unlike this wide eyed girl in my drawing I was never afraid to Surrender to love. Of course doing this has left me with bits and pieces missing from my heart. But so those of you that are afraid to surrender, go ahead but use your head as well as your heart and enjoy every moment as it goes by very fast!

Dusty

I mentioned in this picture that Mirabella chose the easy way out when cleaning her house. I too have chosen the easy way out this week. I'm busy finishing some paintings for an Art Gallery that is showing them for me. I have been touching some of them up as one or two of my creations are not new and I'm finishing the edges of the canvases. I don't know what inspired me to do this drawing ha ha of course I do as it is my way. I did have an odd thought this morning( that has nothing to do with the topic) that I should remove from my china cabinet my Grandmothers cut glass crystal pitcher that she received as a wedding present. Why protect it and hide it away? I will enjoy it and put it in the center of my farm table, shining and reminding me of all of my wonderful ancestors. My Grandmother never had much in the material way but her treasure was my Father. He was the only child and my Grandfather died when my Father was 9 years old. Nana as we called her, worked many jobs to make ends meet from teaching to accounting and being a nanny for others children,not forgetting being a Rosy the riveter during the war. She was at one time a young woman of means and enjoyed the life of a girl growing up in the 1900's. She was very crafty too and painted her wedding china, did needlepoint and studied handwriting in later years. She moved many times from Kansas to Florida to finely ended up in California. We have many items that she carefully protected from her wedding present list. My Mother told me that she gave her the cut glass pitcher and a large bowl that matched. Mom didn't really like Nana and didn't have the same reverence for the items and left the pitcher out in the yard after having flowers in it. I guess as the story goes, Nana quietly brought it in and washed it and put it back where it lived when not being used. I think if it had been me the pitcher would have been in my purse on the way back to where it would be appreciated! But times were different then and that would have not looked good for my Grandmother to take it back. She lived a full life always kept herself busy and I don't remember her ever complaining about anything. I hope I have inherited some of her grace and composer. God knows I try but sometimes I just want to.......we will leave that for your interpretation. So today when I look at the glass picture I will remember the life that was lived many years ago and as I have often wished, wish again I could have know all of my relatives when they were young and experiencing their everyday existence. Would they have laughed at what we find funny? Would we have been friends? That is a question never to be answered....but I still can wonder can't I?

Winter wonderland...

I don't have to much experience with winter weather. I believe that snow is an unnatural state for water to be in. I remember the first time as a teen I had been to the snow and wore my sandals, not thinking I might need something more to protect my feet. My Mother always made me wear many layers of clothes under my Halloween costumes and I felt just like the little child in my picture. How do you move this way...its funny I now have some unwanted pounds and they feel a little like an extra bit of clothes. If we could only remove them as easy as getting undressed! I feel like I am getting a cold as most of the family has one is some form or the other. I will drink lots of liquids and make some chicken soup you know it is good for the soul....Fog has just rolled in...surf is high and the wind is cold....enough weather report.....all is almost good but better than most....I am thankful for all I have......

Chicken

I spied this Chicken in a magazine from England. I thought she was beautiful and I loved her outlined feathers. I decided that being so beautiful she must lay colorful eggs, so colorful they are. I think chickens are pretty great creatures and wish we could have them running through our backyard. But not in this city and besides the Racoon's that party at my house would so enjoy a chicken dinner. I love the creatures here and offer them freely food and shelter as needed. Our city has grown so much there is no place for the wild creatures to live any more. There were fields and space many years ago but with the building that has gone on that space has disappeared. Often people complain about the animals and I stand firmly that WE have taken their space and should make allowances for them. I think we still have enough wild and wonderful yards to do them just fine. I did cringe when after 3 years of protecting my gold fish that had grown to be large and plump, became dinner one spring night. But on the whole we coexist very well....My Sister and family were down this weekend and we enjoyed their company and laughed a lot. My oldest Niece is home from MIT with her Brazilian boyfriend she met in Brazil last summer. He is really nice and since my Son married a wonderful girl from ,where else? but Brazil it is fun. I tease my Daughter-in-law that the Brazilians have a plot to take over Southern California. Four or five of my Son's friends from high school have married girls from there. I love listening to Portuguese and find it a delightful sounding language... Today feels like Summer and I have the french doors flung open to catch the breeze and help the windchimes to make their music.....Here lately we don't know how to dress, it is raining hard and cold one day and the next day is warm and sunny.....bought new ink to print my valentines cards for a store I sell to near by and the ink won't print RED...makes me unhappy and will have to run to return it and get a new one. I always think when things don't go quite right it is to remind me to S L O W....down and don't always be in such a hurry. So I am S L O W I N G down and enjoying the moment...I will sit in the Sun a while....sniff...the breeze....and put one foot in front of the other........

I WILL TRY!

It has always fascinated me how we humans get up each morning and put one foot in front of the other and carry on. I find it hard sometimes to want to do just that. And then I remember others have physical and metal burdens to deal with and I find the energy to carry on. Getting along with everyone has never been a problem for me. But now as I get older I'm able to step back and really watch others as they try to manipulate their way through life. Most of the ones I know that want to control others actually have and have had no control in their lives. They are not happy when they hear the word NO....what did you say? I imagine they are thinking.... I don't respond to NO...they are thinking. I have never wanted to control anyone else but myself and don't always do a good job of that. So watching these control freaks has been eye opening on many levels. I feel sad at their disappointment when they don't get their way and wish I could make their lives happier, but I know that happiness comes from inside of ourselves. I want so much for others to be happy with all the blessings they have been given and savor each day as if it was their last. Loosing my Father when he was 60 was hard on me. I loved him so but we had no regrets between each other. All words were said and as much as I would loved to have him here to share my life and see his great Grand kids I knew it was his time. Its funny each of the Great grand kids have seen my Father in one way or the other. Each event was subtle and seemed just matter of fact to the kids. All of the adults have just smiled and knew it was just as it was. He is remembered everyday and is strong in our memories. He lived his life to the fullest and I hope I'm doing the same. So I will TRY to understand and be better in watching the different ones in my life....names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent....carry on humans just one foot in front of the other.....and forward we go............